Planning your wedding day is a busy and sometimes stressful time. Choosing who will stand by your side as your best man or maid/matron of honor should not be a nightmare. Even if you start to feel some pressure from your friends or family as to who you should choose just remember, this is your wedding and things should go as you and your fiancé plan.

Take some time and sit and think about what you want from your best man or maid/matron of honor. Are you just looking for someone to bounce ideas off of or do you want someone more hands on. If you are looking for a large amount of time to be focused on this would it be easier to choose your sister who lives in the same town as you or would your best friend in Texas be better fit for the role? Your best man or maid/matron of honor will be responsible for planning a bridal shower, bachelor/bachelorette party and preparing a speech to share with everyone. If you are planning such a large and extravagant event that has many moving parts you can always consider having a maid and matron of honor or two best men. This way you can split tasks between the two.

You may not want to have a best man or maid/matron of honor who has never been in a wedding before and has no idea on how to play a key role in your big day. Even if you have always known that your very best friend from childhood would be your best man or maid/matron of honor consider their current lifestyle situations. Will they be able to communicate effectively, are they organized and financially responsible? Do they have the free time in their schedule to attend various vendor meetings in your place? A growing family, a new or lost job and financial responsibilities are other factors you may want to take into consideration when making your selection.

Choose your best man or maid/matron of honor for their organizational and multi-tasking skills because this person is going to have the most tasks of anyone in your bridal party. They will be expected to keep details organized and keep the rest of the bridal party informed on what is to come. This process can become overwhelming so you want to have someone there for you through the good and the bad. Be sure to be open and honest with them about your expectations. Don’t feel snubbed if you ask someone to play a part in your wedding but they decline. Perhaps it just is not the right time for them. Let them be honest about the amount of time or money they can and will devote to your special day. Remember, this is your decision and you do not want to be miserable during this happy time in your life.